In LA

HP is run by geniuses. Not only have they demonstrated that they can think far far out of the box in their attempts to determine who amongst them have been leaking stories to the press, but they’ve also added a fantastic new feature to their digital cameras: The “Slimming Effect”. Here’s a heavily-edited excerpt from that HP web page which explains how to use the feature:

Imagine a time in the future when science has developed a means of giving everyone the face and body he dreams of. It may not happen tomorrow–but it nearly happens now in your new HP Photosmart camera, and at the push of a button!

1. Take a self-portrait. Then…Highlight the Design Gallery menu tab…
2. …highlight Apply Artistic Effects and press OK. Then highlight Slimming and press OK.
3. Adjust the slimming level using the arrows. Then press OK, and you’re finished.

In order to use this feature, all you have to do is have someone take your photo, press the camera’s OK button a few times, and then HP’s sophisticated software takes over. It analyzes the photo to determine your body mass index and map your fat distribution. The software then compares these measurements against the “Los Angeles” database of preferred body shapes and sizes, and notes any discrepancies.

Next, the camera then calculates the degree of “slimming” that it can safely perform to your image –for most of us there’s no limit, heck even models and stars get heavily retouched and reshaped these days. Even Britney Spears.

But for some users too much virtual slimming and they might risk falling into depression the next time they look in the mirror and rediscover their non-virtual self. These particularly sensitive users will be encouraged to purchase HP’s “slimming mirror”, due out next year.

With ideas as valuable as these, is it any wonder that HP’s board of directors would do anything in their power to stop press leaks.

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 24th, 2006 at 6:30 pm and is filed under Amusing, Geeky, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.